


Midnight

by Mazauric



Series: Sleeper Series [2]
Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:41:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22865737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mazauric/pseuds/Mazauric
Summary: Chani has trouble sleeping, the dark isn't safe but friendly sleeper Rowoon, is.
Relationships: Kang Chanhee | Chani/Kim Seokwoo | Rowoon, Kim Youngkyun | Hwiyoung/Yoo Taeyang
Series: Sleeper Series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558072
Comments: 9
Kudos: 82





	Midnight

**Author's Note:**

> As always, this story has no archive warnings. But one for those who may be triggered, this story involves mentions of child abuse. No details, but mentions and emotions.

_“I had a dream_   
  
_I got everything I wanted_   
  
_But when I wake up I see_   
  
_You with me”_

  
  
Everything I wanted - Billie Eilish

  
  
**Sleep Center Rules and Regulations**

_Welcome to the Sleep Center - Seoul Division. A safe haven where customers are welcome to sleep in a safe, comforting environment. To ensure both customer and sleeper are safe and secure for the duration of the sleeping period, please adhere to the following rules and regulations before entering the sleeping area._

  1. _All customers must change into sleep clothes before entering the sleeping room. Items are not permitted into the room including electronic devices, food or drink. (Exceptions made for those with sleep aids)_
  2. _There are security cameras in each room with 24 hour monitoring. This is to keep both customer and sleeper safe._
  3. _No sexual activity of any kind with the sleepers._
  4. _Customers are free to use the bathroom facilities at any point in the sleep period._
  5. _With the permission of the sleeper, customers are free to snuggle, curl up or touch the sleeper within limits if necessary for sleep and comfort purposes._
  6. _Sexual activity with other customers is also prohibited._
  7. _Please alert reception if you suffer from sleep walking or night terrors as there are special sleepers available._
  8. _Customers are free to choose another sleeper at any point in the sleep period if their chosen sleeper does not help the sleeping process._
  9. _Exchanging of personal information is at the discretion of the sleeper._



  
  
_Good night, sleep tight and may you find rest in the Sleep Center._

  
  
Sign: _____________________________________________________

Date: _____________________________________________________   
  
\-   
  
The morning light filters in through the cream coloured curtains, illuminating the morning dust particles floating around the kitchen. It lights the small eating area in a comforting golden glow. Spread over the small, off-green coloured dining table lay two plates, left with naught but crumbs. The jam jar was half open, there was leftover rice in the rice cooker and a spoon had fallen on the floor, left forgotten as neither of the guys living here could be assed picking it up.   
  
Their attention was taken by the easel sitting in the corner of the room, next to the open doorway that led to the little living room the two of them shared. Communal living was tiny when one was a college student - even tinier when both college students earn their pay in peanuts. It was hard to find a place that paid well when they both had studies taking up their valuable time.   
  
Yet they made do and in this tiny, cosy little apartment located in Myeong Dong, the resident students who owned this apartment were both seated at the table, staring at the easel.   
  
“So? What do you think?”   
  
Chani tilts his head and stares at the easel. Sitting atop the small board, his roommate Taeyang, had placed two pictures side by side at the asscrack of dawn and had excitedly asked Chani for his opinion. They were model shots, taken in front of a white background. One was in full colour, the other in black and white and there sat his roommate, Yoo Taeyang, second year student of Jeonghwa Arts University, grade-A narcissist, posing for the camera with a faraway look in his eye.   
  
Chani observes the way Taeyang’s meticulously styled black hair falls just a little over obsidian eyes, chiselled, sharp features magnified in high-definition, printed for the world to see and yet what Chani saw was no doubt what his roommate was after.   
  
“Chani,” Taeyang whines. “Gimme something to work with here, what do you think?”   
  
Chani glances at his roommate. A stark contrast from the clean and crisp boy pictured in the photograph, Taeyang sits on the other side of the table in his plaid black and white pyjamas that are probably about two sizes too big for him. The pants keep falling and every now and then Chani gets a kick out of seeing Taeyang struggle to keep his pants on his skinny hips. He’s nothing like his photo, the real Taeyang has messy bed hair, he hasn’t had a shower yet and there’s jam on his sleeve.   
  
He looks back at the photos and finally lets out a sigh.   
  
“Gay.”   
  
Taeyang promptly picks the spoon up from the floor and chucks it at Chani who ducks just in time to hear it hit the wall behind him instead. He laughs as he looks at the indignant look on Taeyang’s face. “You asked me for my opinion!”   
  
“I don’t know why I bother asking you anything, you never take my art seriously,” Taeyang sniffs although he’s not really insulted. If anything, Chani’s dry sense of humour is something Taeyang is extremely familiar with.   
  
“What art?” Chani rolls his eyes and leans back in the squeaky kitchen chair. “I thought modelling was just a part time thing for you while you finish your course?”   
  
“A part time thing now will be a full time thing later and you’ll be sorry when I’m on the cover of a magazine and you called my portfolio picture gay.”   
  
Chani shrugs. “Consider it a compliment, seeing as you are gay and all.”   
  
“I have another spoon and I am not afraid to use it,” Taeyang threatens as he reaches over to finally close the jam jar. He starts clearing up and as he does, Chani yawns into his hand.   
  
He hadn’t slept much last night. If at all. Too many thoughts in his mind, too many things to think about and this isn’t the first time it’s happened either.   
  
Clinical Insomnia is what the doctors called it and over the years Chani had been prescribed almost every single pill under the rainbow to knock him out. None of them worked and all of them inevitably ended with him lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering how he is ever going to function as a member of society if he can’t even be conscious during the hours when it counts.   
  
How he hasn’t downright failed his classes is anyone's guess considering its rare he’s awake enough to attend them.   
  
“I’m settling on the black and white one,” Taeyang announces as he gathers the last of the plates and unceremoniously chucks them into the sink. Chani glances at the way the used dishes inside the sink pile up to present one mountain of unwashed dishes and he knows exactly what Taeyang is doing. Taeyang is going to clear the table and announce he’s done his part of the chores - then leave the hard part to Chani.   
  
Fortunately for Taeyang, Chani is far too tired to kick up a fuss or give a fuck.   
  
“Black and white,” he nods and turns his eyes back to the portfolio photos. “Well that’s probably for the best. Then they can’t see the hideous orange and yellow shirt you’re wearing.”   
  
Taeyang grabs his photo and resists the urge to smack Chani with it. “It was laundry day,” he reminds Chani.   
  
“I don’t care, I’m never going out with you in public if you wear that shirt,” Chani yawns and leans back. His eyes are closed but he can tell Taeyang is glaring at him, he enjoys annoying him because no one pushes Taeyang’s buttons nearly as well as Chani can.   
  
“I hope one day your grandmother buys you a hideous shirt too,” Taeyang snarls.   
  
“Don’t count on it,” Chani smirks. “My grandmother has taste.”   
  
Taeyang does smack Chani with his portfolio. The cardboard behind the photo whacks Chani’s bangs out of place and he opens his eyes in time to see Taeyang stomping off to his room. He feels a hum of contentment that only annoying Taeyang can bring. A morning well spent.   
  
He pushes himself out of his chair and ignores the pile of dishes for now. They’ll eventually disappear and wash themselves if he ignores them hard enough - at least, that’s his reasoning. Walking into the living room, Chani flops onto the tiny brown two-seater couch and buries his face in the cheap hippie cushion Taeyang bought when they moved in.   
  
He has a shift in a few hours. On the days when Chani actually has something he needs to do in the daylight hours, he usually powers through them. Lack of sleep and in the worst cases, hallucinations, is usually never an excuse for skipping out on work - especially when he needs to pay his half of the rent. When he’s not working, he’s studying and in the first few months it was somewhat doable but the longer this goes on, the more impossible it becomes.   
  
He’s exhausted. His eyelids feel like heavy weights, dying for rest. His entire body is listless, his thoughts all over the place and his stomach churning from a ruined appetite. The worst part is that Chani is used to this, this is his every day. A shit nights sleep if he’s lucky to get even five minutes and then suffering the whole day.   
  
He doesn’t even know when he passes out but when he wakes up, Taeyang is shaking his shoulder. He looks up, a moment of disorientation confusing him and as he looks up at his fully dressed roommate, it feels like only ten minutes have passed. Taeyang is out of his pyjamas, dressed in a white shirt, black leather jacket and tight fitting jeans that make his legs look impossibly long.   
  
“You heading off?” Chani croaks sleepily. He should get up too, he has a shift.   
  
Taeyang frowns in confusion and points to the window. Chani cranes his head up and it’s not morning anymore, the cream curtains are dark with night and a painful thud of panic in his chest jolts him into a sitting position. He swears as he grabs his phone and stares at the time in disbelief.   
  
He hasn’t been snoozing for ten minutes, he’s been snoozing for 15 hours. It isn’t 7am anymore, it’s 10pm and his phone is filled with a million missed calls and notifications from his boss asking where he is.   
  
“I saw you on the couch when I left but you mumbled that you’d get up soon,” Taeyang says as he sits down next to Chani. “You’ve been out all day.”   
  
“Shit, shit, shit…” Chani curses, his fingers flying as he checks his messages frantically. It’s boggling his mind how the hell he managed to lose one whole day but it’s there on his phone, clear as day. His boss tried calling him five times and left a grand total of 14 messages on his phone asking him to call him back because his unexplained absence means they’re short on staff. His mother messaged him once because the boss called her and the rest is from Taeyang asking him where he is and what he’s doing.   
  
Taeyang falls silent as Chani reads over all the messages. Chani can’t see the look on his face but he knows what it is, he’s been bad before but it’s never been this bad. He’s never lost a whole day to exhaustion.   
  
When Chani finishes the messages, he switches his phone off and turns to look at Taeyang in disbelief. “I swear, it was only ten minutes,” he croaks. His voice still hasn’t come back. “I just closed my eyes for a second.”   
  
There’s a look of deep concern and worry in Taeyang’s eyes and it’s a stark contrast from the annoyance he’d been showing him that morning. Taeyang is really worried about him and of course Taeyang already knows about Chani’s sleeping problem. But he’s never, ever been this bad before.   
  
“We’ve seen doctors before, I’ve gone with you to those appointments and those medicines aren’t working?” Taeyang asks. He knows the answer already, he’s seen Chani take all the pills and still lie on his bed with wide eyes staring up at the ceiling. He knows those pills don’t work, none of them ever have.   
  
Chani looks at his lap and bites his lip. “It’s a miracle my boss hasn’t fired me yet,’’ he comments quietly. “But...what else can I do? Drugs, therapy, acupuncture, none of it’s working.”   
  
“What’s going through your head when you lie awake at night?” Taeyang asks and this is not the first time he’s asked this. Everyone asks Chani this and although only Chani knows the truth, he tells the same lie he’s been telling since this whole thing began.   
  
“School,” he mutters and runs a hand through his hair. “Work. Future. Life, everything.”   
  
Some people can turn their brains off and fall asleep. Chani is not part of that blessed few.   
  
By the look on Taeyang’s face, Chani can tell Taeyang doesn’t really believe his lie but his roommate knows better than to ask for more details. Chani won’t tell.   
  
“Well...there’s one new option,” Taeyang finally says as he digs a small piece of paper from his pocket. It’s been folded up and it’s a little ripped in the corner as Chani pulls it open to look at the A4 poster.   
  
The paper feels smooth like silk, this isn’t ordinary print. Upon a satin blue background, the subtle black font is easy on the eyes as the simple design advertises something Chani had already heard of on the internet - but never thought was also available in Korea.   
  
“The sleep clinic?” he frowns at the text and looks at Taeyang. “Is this that weird place where people pay to literally sleep with other people?”   
  
“Yeah,” Taeyang shrugs and leans back into the couch. His long legs use the tiny coffee table as a footrest, pushing aside the papers and crap they already had piled on there as he stretches out. “It was a hit in China and Japan, been here for awhile. They’ve got a place in Yongsan.”   
  
Chani shakes his head and puts it down. “Nope,” he decides right away. “Sounds too weird. I don’t let anyone touch me, that won’t work on me.”   
  
He’s about to walk out of the room when Taeyang speaks up.   
  
“Well nothing else is working and if you keep going the way you’re going, you’re going to lose your scholarship and your job. You just slept the whole day away and I’m willing to bet you’re still tired.”   
  
Chani stops where he’s walking halfway to the door. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. Taeyang is right of course, he is still tired. Despite being unconscious all day he’s tired, his appetite hasn’t even kicked in to remind him he hasn’t eaten, all his body wants to do is sleep. And yet he knows that because it's night, there is no way in hell his brain is going to let him.   
  
He turns around to see Taeyang giving him a pointed look. That annoying look he pulls when he knows he’s in the right for once. One manicured eyebrow lifted, lips pursed and if he were standing, he’d have one hand on his hip like an indignant housewife.   
  
“Try it once,” Taeyang says, his voice firm and clear for once. It’s rare because Taeyang will often let Chani get away with anything - even teasing him, but that tone he’s using tells Chani right away that there’s no room for argument. “One night. See if it works.”   
  
Chani wants to throw a tantrum, he wants Taeyang to leave him alone and let him get back to his normal routine of suffering and slugging his way through every day but the look in Taeyang’s eyes promises serious consequences if he dares say no. Finally, he sags a little and makes a show of letting out a huge sigh so Taeyang knows he’s annoyed.   
  
“Fine.”   
  
The scary look in Taeyang’s eyes is gone in a flash, replaced with happy contentment as he settles on the couch and pulls up his backpack from the floor to dig something out.   
  
“Good,” he says and pulls out a large, black and white photo of himself. “Now which one do you like? The one of me looking left, or the one of me looking right?”   
  
Chani leaves the room and ignores Taeyang calling after him.   
  
\-   
  
As Taeyang says, the sleep clinic is located in Yongsan-Gu. With a military base nearby, foreigners are a common sight around this area and when Chani reluctantly follows Taeyang into the elevator that is to take them to the second floor where the sleep clinic is, he sees about three foreigners - all of them looking haggard and tired. One of them hasn’t even taken his uniform off yet.   
  
Chani leans back against the wall and listens to them. They’re speaking in English and unfortunately Chani can only understand bits and pieces but the most he gets out of them is ‘tired’ and ‘hope Herim is in’. Whoever she is.   
  
The elevator lands with a small bump on the second floor. Taeyang and Chani watch the military personnel head off first before following them in. The reception area of the sleep clinic is dimmed for the eyes, a blue feature wall greets their gazes first where a neon sign, dimmed for the sight, reads SLEEP CLINIC.   
  
Chani spots a silver plaque that reads the mission statement of the clinic, followed by the rules.   
  
“No sexual activity of any kind with the sleepers,” Chani reads aloud and sighs in faux disappointment. “Darn, looks like you have to go Taeyang, they don’t allow perverts here.”   
  
Taeyang smacks the back of his head and offers an apologetic smile to the poor girl standing near the curtain. She’s dressed in the sleep clinic uniform and watching them weirdly as Taeyang guides Chani to the tablets and picks one up for him.   
  
“You’re such a shit,” Taeyang mutters, his fingers tapping the screen until it lights up. He hands it to Chani and leans against the bench where the tablets were laid out. “Hurry up and pick someone so I can ditch you already.”   
  
The first page on the tablet is the rules. Meticulously and clearly showing for him to read. Chani feels the familiar tug of sleep pulling at his brain as he scans to the bottom of the page and signs with his finger. It then flicks to the next page where it asks him what gender he’d rather sleep with and at the option, Chani pauses.   
  
He hadn’t thought about this part. Despite knowing they were going to a clinic where he was going to sleep with someone, it hadn’t actually occurred to Chani that said sleeper could be either gender. As much as he teases Taeyang relentlessly for his sexual orientation, Chani has to admit that the idea of trying to sleep with a girl in his arms - or god forbid the other way around - appeals so much less than sleeping in the same bed as a guy.   
  
It’s not like he hasn’t done that before. When they first moved in, they only had one bed and no couch so he and Taeyang had shared a bed for three months before they could finally afford another bed. Granted, Chani spent those three months wriggling in his sleep and eventually kicking Taeyang out of bed every single night but the point was, he’d at least slept in the same bed as a guy before. He at least knew what that was like, rather than the unknown that was sleeping in the same bed as a girl - something Chani had actually never done.   
  
So he does what any respectable, proud adult would do and makes sure Taeyang isn’t looking as he tilts the screen and picks the guys menu.   
  
It immediately shows a sea of faces, all the sleepers available in the clinic. Chani blinks and looks over the options and there are so many. The guys have a wide range in age. From the youngest being 18 to the oldest being around 75.   
  
Chani’s fingers pick out random faces and each time he clicks, the face expands to show him the profile of the sleeper in question. He browses through, spotting so many names - likely to be fake names - and faces he quickly forgets - save for one pretty fucker who called himself Suga. Clearly he failed English class.   
  
Chani finally settles on quite a harmless photo. He frowns as he clicks the profile open to reveal a handsome face, heart shaped lips and smooth looking, almost porcelain skin. His dark locks are styled, the majority of his bangs to the left side of his face, leaving a gap at his right eyebrow before the rest of his hair falls over his ear and curls ever so slightly at the nape of his neck. He has a strong jaw, his features somehow managing to pull off masculine and pretty at the same time.   
  
_**Rowoon (3 stars)** _  
  
_Age: 23_  
  
 _Shifts: Night Sleeper_  
  
 _Notes: Cuddler. Tall._  
  
 _Available_   
  
Chani clicks the reserve button before he finishes reading and as soon as he finishes entering his credit card details, the little printer at the counter spits out a receipt for him which Taeyang takes and hands to Chani.   
  
“Make an effort, please,” Taeyang almost pleads as Chani puts the tablet back and takes the receipt. “One night, give it a go.”   
  
“And if it doesn’t work?” Chani asks with a slightly raised eyebrow. “What then?”   
  
“Well…” Taeyang sighs and brings his fist up, showing his knuckles to Chani. “Then we move to plan B. I knock you out every single night until you learn to sleep like a normal person.”   
  
Chani blinks at Taeyang’s closed fist and sighs. “Oh Taeyang, nobody loves me like you do.”   
  
“Damn right,” Taeyang pushes his fist gently against Chani’s forehead and uses his other hand to push Chani towards the girl .”Now go to bed already, I’ll see you tomorrow.”   
  
Chani stumbles off to the girl. She has short brown locks cut in a bob, the sleep clinic logo is clear on the right breast pocket. She smiles as she takes the receipt and reaches behind herself to pull out the sleep clinic pyjamas for Chani, folded and nearly packed away in a ziplock bag.   
  
“Down the hall,” she instructs, pointing to the velvet curtain leading to the hallway. “Bathroom is the first door on the left, sleepers are further down the hall.”   
  
She then gives him a black keycard, engraved in gold is the number 40.   
  
Chani looks over his shoulder to see Taeyang waving him off so he pulls the curtain aside and walks through with his pyjama bag under his arm.   
  
The floors of the hallway are polished wood, the walls lined in dark panelling, giving off a high class feel. It smells of fresh paint and pine. Chani’s shoes click gently on the wooden floor as he wanders towards the bathrooms and looks around.   
  
They’ve wasted no expense here. The bathroom is wide, bright polished white tiles greet his eyes as he spots lockers to the left of the door. All the lockers are numbered and due to his sleepiness, it takes Chani a good minute to realise that his number to his sleeper is also his number to the locker he’s meant to use.   
  
He yawns as he opens the locker and gets to work with grabbing a towel and the complimentary toiletries available for guests. He changes out of his clothes and heads for the showers - a hidden bliss he had not considered either. Back at home, he and Taeyang share one bathroom and Taeyang is the master of products. Hair products, body soaps, lotions, hair masking cream, leave-in conditioners, liquid soaps, he has it all and although the bathroom smells absolutely heavenly whenever Taeyang is done with it - its always a horrible mess with slippery floors, bottles everywhere and no hot water because the inconsiderate prick used it all.   
  
So when Chani steps under the shower here and feels the hit of hot water, he almost moans in bliss as he washes his hair and body with the sweetest scented soap and shampoo he’s ever had the pleasure of inhaling.   
  
He takes his time in washing himself. Not just because he’s enjoying the fact that he has a clean, hot shower all to himself for once but also because he’s self conscious. The thought of sleeping in the same bed as someone else is nerve wracking enough, Chani doesn’t want to risk any chance that he might actually smell.   
  
When he comes out, he dries himself off and dresses in the clinic pyjama set given to him. The silk hangs off him, only lightly breezing against his freshly washed skin. Chani picks at the Sleep Clinic emblem on the left breast pocket and throws the towel in the washbin before making sure his locker is secure and heading out at last.   
  
“Down the end of the hall,” Chani mutters to himself as he walks alone. He looks around and it occurs to him how strange it is that he hasn’t seen anyone else around. With the exception of the guys in the elevator, this hallway isn’t crawling with guests on their way to see their sleepers and the bathroom had been empty.   
  
It could be argued that the customers are busy sleeping but it still strikes a little weird in Chani’s mind.   
  
He’s so distracted, he doesn’t even notice the guard at the end of the hall until the man practically pops out in front of him and Chani jumps back in alarm.   
  
“Preliminary check,” the guard assures him. “As per company policy, customers must not bring anything with them into the sleeper rooms, my job is to ensure that.”   
  
“I can strip naked, I can spread my ass for you but don’t touch me,” Chani blurts quickly when he sees the man approaching him. He’s probably been tasked with a light check, maybe a pat down but even the thought of being patted down rings all of Chani’s alarms. He holds his hands out in front of himself, as if ready to push the guard back. The guard, who is now staring at him as if he’s the weird one.   
  
“A...cavity search is not necessary,” the guard tells him.   
  
Chani stares but keeps his arms up in defense. “What?” he says. “Why are you looking at me like that? Surely I’m not the first customer you’ve had who hates being touched.”   
  
“You’re not,” the guard says, his lips finally cracking the tiniest amused grin, as though he’d been holding it back. “You’re definitely the first to offer to strip naked though.”   
  
He steps back and finally laughs a little. “It’s fine, I believe you. Go ahead.”   
  
Chani grumbles but he happily wanders past the guard and into the next hallway. Doors line both walls left and right with polished number plates attached at the top center of each door. As Chani walks, he hears the occasional snore but for the most part, it’s silent - a definite sign that however this clinic functions, it definitely works for people.   
  
Somehow.   
  
He walks up to his numbered door and stares at the number. Rowoon. For the life of him, Chani can’t pin down exactly why he’d picked Rowoon out of all the other faces that tablet had to offer. If nothing else, Rowoon seemed to be the most harmless face he could have chosen, there was something about his smile on the screen that just eased Chani - convinced him that it might be easier sleeping in the same bed as Rowoon than any other face on that tablet.   
  
Some of those faces were either too old, too creepy or far, far too pretty. How anyone would be able to rest properly and sleep next to that pretty one he saw, V, was anyone’s guess.   
  
His hand slides the card against the door, it lets out the quietest beep and opens with ease. When he walks in, his eyes have to adjust to how dark the room already is.   
  
The door closes behind him and Chani can see only one lamp out on the desk. The room itself is set out like a hotel room. To the immediate left of the door is a small open closet with extra pyjamas, pillows, towels and blankets. Right next to that is a door that leads to what Chani assumes is a bathroom and beyond that is the main room.   
  
Chani moves forward to see a desk planted against the wall to his right. There’s a lamp sitting atop and underneath is a tiny fridge. He can see a mounted TV screen on the corner and right in front of him is a massive, wide window that takes up the entire wall and shows the city lights at night. Then to his left is the bed that takes up the rest of the room.   
  
It’s a king sized four poster bed, neatly made with a plush, navy blue duvet cover and matching silk pillowcases with the Sleep Center emblem engraved stylishly on the bottom left corner. The sheets are black silk and sitting in the middle of the bed is Rowoon.   
  
Chani holds his breath. It’s one thing to see this guy on a screen in a little picture compressed to 500 pixels but seeing this guy in real life is something else. He is undoubtedly handsome, dark eyes shine underneath a shower of neat jet black locks that fall to his eyebrows. His nose is straight, lips that perfect kind that Chani always sees in idols and movie stars.   
  
He looks good in the sleep clinic pyjamas but most of all, he’s tall. Really tall. Even sitting, Chani can tell he’s freakishly tall.   
  
Then Rowoon’s lips curl into what can only be described as the most innocently pleasant smile Chani has ever seen.   
  
“Hello,” Rowoon greets him as he shuffles off the bed to stand up properly. He’s a good head taller than Chani and Chani feels a little weird about looking up at this handsome giant who towers over him.   
  
Good god even his eyebrows are handsome.   
  
There’s silence for a moment before Chani realises Rowoon is actually waiting for him to say something. He swallows hard and looks over his face before blurting out the first thing that comes to mind.   
  
“You’re really freakishly tall.”   
  
He doesn’t mean it to come out as blunt as it does but Rowoon laughs and Chani feels a bit of his nerves fly off as a result. He relaxes just a little bit, grinning as Rowoon recovers and nods to himself.   
  
“I’m an aspiring basketball player,’ he says. “And I never drink coffee.”   
  
“Really?”   
  
“No, I drink coffee all the time, I’m addicted,” Rowoon admits sheepishly. “Can’t start the morning without it, I’m all sluggish until I’ve had a good cup.”   
  
Chani smiles but he notices he’s a lot more relaxed now. There’s something very easy and chilled out about how Rowoon talks and banters with him, it stripped away his nerves before he even realised what Rowoon was doing.   
  
“So how does this work?” he asks. “Because...not gonna lie. I’m a sceptic.”   
  
“Ah, then you came to the right guy,” Rowoon beams, there’s a charm to his smile that takes Chani by surprise and causes a weird clench in his gut. Not a bad one either, just weird. “My job is to help you sleep and how we get you there...well we can do almost anything. Anything you need to get you to the world of nod, I’m here to help you do that.”   
  
“And how is that?” Chani can’t help but ask. “I’m not a cuddler. Actually I hate it when people touch me so that’s off the cards.”   
  
Rowoon raises an eyebrow at him and Chani winces. “I know, it said on your profile that you cuddle but I...I picked you because you looked…” he stops there, his cheeks going red and he looks down. “You looked safest.”   
  
There’s a moment of awkward silence and Chani stares at the ground, willing it to open up and swallow him whole. Then he hears Rowoon clearing his throat and looks up nervously.   
  
“Well, I’m...flattered that I look safe,” the taller man admits. “And I’m actually an automatic cuddler. It’s not something I do on my own, I just end up wrapped around something when I sleep. If it’s not my pillow, it’s whoever’s in bed with me.”   
  
Chani shivers and is silently grateful that Taeyang wasn’t like that. If anything, Taeyang liked his space on the bed as much as Chani did - only he always lost whenever Chani decided to push him off the mattress.   
  
“Tell you what,” Rowoon says. “We’ll put a pillow down so I can cuddle that in my sleep. But before we even think about me sleeping, we should help you sleep first. Are you having problems?”   
  
Chani wants to laugh. Problems. That barely scrapes the iceberg that is the constant war he has with sleeping. It’s one thing to fall asleep in the day, when the safety of light protects him from all the bad but the nights...the nights are impossible. The night is when things are too quiet, when the world is too unconscious to protect him or hear him scream.   
  
The night is when his mind plays back the worst moments of his life over and over like a movie he can’t turn off. Playing voices, words said to him, words he’ll never forget, eyes long since burnt into his memory. The night brings them all out and even now in this dimly lit room, Chani can feel them waiting for him. Waiting for him to lie down, close his eyes and let them take over.   
  
The knowledge of what awaits him is enough to cause panic attacks about the very concept of lying down to sleep.   
  
“My mind is loud,” he tells Rowoon. He’s not sure why he’s telling him this when he can’t even tell his parents or Taeyang but when he looks up at the other, he sees Rowoon’s eyes soften and it compels him to spill everything. He feels like Rowoon will accept anything, like he’ll know how to deal with it even if he doesn’t fully understand or relate to it.   
  
“I can’t sleep in silence,” he admits, his voice a lot shakier and vulnerable than he likes. “I can’t sleep in darkness. There’s a million things in my head and they like to attack at night. They keep me up, I hear everything and I can’t...I just can’t…”   
  
He feels an embarrassing lump in his throat, like he’s about to cry and Chani looks down at the floor. He forces his eyes dry, keep any emotion and tears at bay, he just barely manages it until Rowoon’s hand comes up to hold his shoulder.   
  
His grip is warm, comforting and Chani subconsciously leans into it. Into him.   
  
“So, we’ll sleep with light,” Rowoon suggests. “With sound. We’ll confuse your brain into thinking it’s daytime.”   
  
Chani chuckles bitterly and shakes his head. “I’ve tried that one already.”   
  
He looks up and is taken aback when he sees the smile on Rowoon’s face. Eyes twinkling as though he knows something Chani doesn’t.   
  
“You’ve never tried it with me.”   
  
Ten minutes later and Chani has to hand it to Rowoon for his tenacity. He closes the curtains so Chani can’t see the night sky. He turns on the lights and as the room floods with a warm, yellowish glow akin to sunlight, Rowoon turns to Chani and points to the TV screen on the wall.   
  
“We can have music or TV, which do you prefer?”   
  
Chani blinks at him tiredly. That’s just it. He is tired, he knows he’s tired. He can feel the weight pressing down on his eyelids, begging for rest and yet at the same time, the dark thoughts in his mind, the memories he presses hard into the dark recesses are promising to come back the second his tight grip on them releases.   
  
“TV,” he finally says.   
  
Rowoon arranges things beautifully. He gets some snacks and drinks special order for the harder cases of sleep clients. Chani sits on his side of the bed, back against the headboard, propped comfortably by his pillow pressing gently into the base of his spine and another behind his head. The blankets are spread over his lap and he watches as Rowoon brings out a tray that sits perfectly atop the bed with an array of light crackers, ham and sliced tomato, water, fruits and toast are arranged in a smorgasbord before him.   
  
Rowoon then crawls onto the bed and plops down next to Chani, a respectable but comfortable distance between them as he flicks the TV on and scrolls through Netflix and Hulu until Chani finally settles on The Witcher.   
  
As they watch, Chani feels a sense of calm wash gently over him. He’s still tired, he can feel it, but it's easier to ignore the dark presence in his mind when he has Rowoon next to him and Henry Cavill in all his sexy glory on the screen.   
  
“My roommate has the biggest crush on this guy,” Chani says as he takes another cracker and loads ham and tomato on top.   
  
Rowoon nods, he finishes the apple slice he’s chewing before answering. “I can’t blame him. Did you see the memes all over the internet? He’s getting everyone, straight and gay.”   
  
Chani smirks, he looks over the white haired character on the screen and has to admit, there’s something appealing about him. Maybe it’s the muscles or perhaps he just likes the constant state of annoyance the character seems to be in - something he finds relatable. He doesn’t talk about this part with Taeyang. With anyone really but if someone were to sit Chani down and ask him what his sexual orientation was, he wouldn’t be able to give an answer.   
  
They marathon three episodes and throughout it all, Rowoon is a wonderful presence at his side. He’s warm, he talks whenever he knows Chani’s mind is running away, he helps Chani eat all the food until they run out and he has to put the tray away and wipe the crumbs from the duvet spread. Chani starts drifting off on his own around the part when Yennefer, after going through one painful night, shows up at a party looking gorgeous and reborn.   
  
He doesn’t even realise he’s leaning back into Rowoon’s chest, all he feels is warmth as he leans his head back against him, his eyes closing on their own. Rowoon’s arm locks around his waist and he feels safe. Safe enough to sleep.   
  
“ _On your lead, your excellency_ ,” the pretty woman on the screen says as Chani’s eyes close and he falls asleep to the sound of Rowoon breathing.   
  
\-   
  
“Awake, showered and gone are the bags under his eyes, who is this dashing creature?” Taeyang beams when Chani shows up at 11am. He finds Taeyang on his own of course, sitting alone at the table near the window of the cafeteria. There are other students taking up the other tables, most of them eating but some of them actually studying for their morning classes. It’s been so long since Chani’s actually managed to wake up in time to get here.   
  
He slides into a seat at the table and rubs at his face. “Not fully awake.”   
  
“But you’re here and that’s a massive change,” Taeyang says. Chani can practically hear the ‘I told you so’ in his voice and it’s probably worse than Taeyang actually saying it.   
  
Chani feels refreshed. It’s amazing what sleep can do. Granted, he’d slept only a few hours since he’d spent most of his time staying awake with Rowoon and watching TV but it’s still more sleep at night than he’s had in such a long time. His appetite is back, he feels like he can think properly and Rowoon’s warmth is still all over him.   
  
Rowoon hadn’t been able to get a pillow to cuddle. When Chani had woken up in the morning, he’d found Rowoon wrapped around him and for a surprising 2 minutes, he hadn’t been able to do anything about it. Rowoons’ arms had been locked securely around his small frame, his head on Chani’s shoulder and his light breathing warming Chani’s ear. His body had been plastered up to Chani’s side and the TV had long since turned itself off after no one answered the ‘are you still watching?’ prompt Netflix uses to shame bingers.   
  
But of course, the moment does not last long. Once Chani has gotten over the shock that Rowoon is actually holding him, Chani becomes distinctly aware of the fact that it’s morning. The sunlight is hitting the blackout curtains which means the light is not filtering in but the heat sure as hell is. Mixed with Rowoon’s heat and Chani feels sticky, hot and uncomfortable. So he immediately does the most logical thing and rams his elbow into Rowoon’s chest, waking him up with an unceremonious gasp and a cough.   
  
“Morning,” Chani says as he wriggles out of Rowoon’s arms and listens to the man coughing.   
  
“You’ve got one hell of an elbow,” Rowoon wheezes and Chani looks over his shoulder to grin at him.   
  
It surprises Chani just a little that Rowoon isn’t pissed at him for elbowing him awake. Had it been Taeyang, the other would have taken great pains to let Chani know how painful it was and how he was going to bruise, how he couldn’t breathe and how Chani was going to have to pay for his healing balm. But Rowoon just laughs it off and Chani can’t tell if it’s because he’s still Rowoon’s customer and therefore can get away with almost everything or if Rowoon really is that laid back.   
  
Chani takes a shower in the little bathroom attached to the room. He dresses back into his sleep clinic pyjamas and when he comes out, Rowoon is there waiting for him. The curtains to their room are open, letting in the sunshine. Chani can see the daytime view of the city below and it’s not nearly as enchanting as it is at night but it’s a comforting sight regardless.   
  
Daylight means he’s safe. He’d gotten through most of the night and he’d done it without nightmares. The difference he feels is amazing.   
  
“Thank you,” he says to Rowoon and he really, genuinely means it. This sleep clinic had a very basic idea but it worked, Chani has never felt so awake in months.   
  
Rowoon’s smile is bright as the sun as he pats Chani’s shoulder. “You’re welcome.”   
  
“Earth to Chani!” Taeyang’s voice snaps Chani out of his thoughts and he looks up to see his roommate staring at him like he’s been calling his name for a full 20 minutes.   
  
“What?” Chani blinks at him and Taeyang shakes his head.   
  
“Geez, that sleep clinic was meant to wake you up, not make you more dozey,” he teases. “I was telling you about the guy I met last night. Oh my god Chani, he was gorgeous. I had to stare.”   
  
Chani raises his eyebrow at Taeyang and smirks. “You creeped him out didn’t you?”   
  
Taeyang throws a raisin at him which Chani skilfully dodges.   
  
“I did not,” Taeyang starts before pausing and thinking about it. “Well I tried not to. He did catch me staring and he was a little weirded out by it...a little…”   
  
“And you wonder why you’re still single,” Chani chuckles. Taeyang throws another raisin at him, this one gets stuck in his hair.   
  
“For your information he actually talked to me and there was no mention of a restraining order,” Taeyang boasts as Chani moves his hand up to get the raisin out.   
  
“Oh that's a first,” Chani teases and dodges another raisin.   
  
They start making their way to Taeyang’s class and Chani can’t help but notice all the things he hadn’t seen in awhile since he hadn’t been able to make it to class in some time. The bulletin noticeboards were filled with different coloured pieces of paper advertising everything from clubs to second hand furniture to notices asking for roommates. Students milled back and forth between classes, most of them distracted. There was the occasional student leaning against the wall alone with their eyes glued to their phone, or in a group with their chatter mixing into the noise of the hall.   
  
Chani’s just about to ditch Taeyang and find somewhere to study when Taeyang grabs his arm and pulls him to a stop.   
  
“That’s him there.”   
  
Chani pauses and looks into the room that Taeyang is pointing to. It’s a small studyroom with eight desks lined in two rows, a projector at the back of the room and a blackboard at the front. Chani can see three students in there. The first is a blonde girl with a fluffy pink pencil, listening to music and reading over her textbook. The second is a nerdy looking stick figure of a guy with spectacles too large for his head. His eyes are hilariously magnified and Chani can see them skittering from one page to the other with the speed unknown to the average reader. The third, and this is probably the one Taeyang was pointing to, is sitting at the far end of the corner.   
  
He’s definitely Taeyang’s type. He’s gorgeous and even Chani can notice that right away. There’s a delicate look to his face, soft dark eyes, a delicate button nose and rosy lips contrasted by a strong jaw, high cheekbones and a decently wide set of shoulders. He’s no stringbean, even underneath his red hoodie and jeans, Chani can tell he’s got some muscle under there. To top his look is a mop of impossibly soft looking dark locks that fall over his left eye, trickle over his ear and curl up just slightly at his neck.   
  
If ever there was a guy who could so perfectly tick every single requirement Taeyang had as his perfect and most ideal guy, this guy was it.   
  
Chani glances at Taeyang who has the most amusing lovestruck look on his face.   
  
“Did you actually say anything to him or did you just stare at him last time?” he asks in a flat tone.   
  
“I said something,” Taeyang frowns, quickly defending himself. “I said hi.”   
  
Chani snorts. “Hi? Just hi?   
  
Taeyang’s face goes uncharacteristically red and Chani can’t believe he’s actually seeing him blush. Taeyang never blushes, he doesn’t have enough shame to and yet here he is, red as a beetroot. Chani immediately takes off his backpack and shoves it into Taeyang’s arms.   
  
“Wait here,” he says and heads into the room, ignoring Taeyang’s desperate, whispered pleas that he come back.   
  
Chani heads in without pause, he goes around the tables of the other students until he reaches the one at the back and slides into the seat next to the pretty guy. He looks up from his notebook and at a glance, Chani can see chicken scrawl scribblings. Both in Korean and English. They’re not notes for class either, they appear to be lyrics.   
  
Yep, definitely Taeyang’s type.   
  
Chani beams at him and nods. “Hi, I’m Chani.”   
  
The guy blinks in confusion before finally offering a small, hesitant nod. “Hwiyoung.”   
  
“Hwiyoung,” Chani nods with a grin. “Listen I know this sounds a little weird since I just met you but are you free tonight?”   
  
Hwiyoung stares at him. He’s confused but Chani can see a tiny bit of curiosity in his eyes and he latches onto that. “I’ve got a friend. Big fan of yours, dying to meet you. Say around the student cafeteria at around 6pm?”   
  
Hwiyoung still looks confused but his eyes flick up to the doorway where Taeyang is still looking terrified. Chani looks up as well and Taeyang quickly tries to look busy on his phone, his ears are still the reddest Chani has ever seen them and it’s fascinating. Taeyang never blushes over anything.   
  
“He’s a weirdo but I promise you he’s a nice weirdo,” Chani assures Hwiyoung. “Plus he can buy you food.”   
  
That seems to clench it. Hwiyoung slowly nods and Chani beams at him. “Great! Cafeteria, tonight at 6pm, he’ll buy you whatever you want.”   
  
He hears Hwiyoung’s quiet ‘ok’ as he gets up and heads out of the study room. He takes his bag back from Taeyang and smiles at him.   
  
“Tonight at 6,” he tells him. “You’ve got a date at the cafeteria.”   
  
Taeyang’s jaw is still hanging open as he stares in disbelief. “I fucking hate you.”   
  
Chani throws him a peace sign and saunters off to find somewhere to study. As he leaves, Taeyang chances a nervous glance back into the study room. He sees Hwiyoung watching him and blushes bright red before quickly heading off to class.   
  
\-   
  
“Lets try something new,” Rowoon announces that night when Chani walks in through his door. In all honesty, Chani hadn’t planned on coming back to the sleep clinic. He’d planned on sleeping in his own bed tonight.   
  
But when he came home to an empty apartment (presumably because Taeyang was hopefully meeting up with Hwiyoung) Chani realised he didn’t want to be alone and he came straight here. He walked into the clinic, signed himself up on the tablet, showered, cleaned himself and headed straight back to Rowoon’s bedroom. He hadn’t even given himself the chance to pick anyone else, Rowoon had put him to sleep last night and that was more than enough for Chani.   
  
“Something new?” he asks as he picks at the silk sleeve of his pyjamas. “Like what?”   
  
“Well the noise and distraction worked,” Rowoon explains, a positive and optimistic look in his eyes. “Your brain definitely needs to be fooled into thinking it's daylight because you have trouble sleeping at night.”   
  
“Things attack at night,” Chani points out weakly. “Daylight is safer.”   
  
“Yes and that is why I’m going to try something new,” Rowoon nods. “Since TV and light work - but take up time that you could be using sleeping, we’re going to try tiring you out.”   
  
A million things go through Chani’s mind all at once, not all of them family friendly. He stares at Rowoon and for some reason he imagines the other tiring him out in a bed, bending him over and making him scream and he has to admit - to himself - the thought is not an altogether unpleasant one.   
  
Just as his ears start turning red, Rowoon’s smile reaches almost psychotic as he steps closer. “Did you know this place has a gym?’   
  
Two floors below the sleep clinic is the gym. It actually belongs to the clinic and when Chani walks in behind Rowoon, he can already see people working out despite it being 10pm already. He’s out of his pyjamas, dressed instead in a black pair of shorts that hang just above his knees with the sleep clinic logo etched into the left pocket. He’s also wearing a white tank top, provided by the clinic with the logo on the breast pocket.   
  
Rowoon, still dressed in his standard-issue navy blue pyjamas, leads him to the treadmill and Chani eyes it suspiciously.   
  
The gym is bright, all the lights are on and the speakers are playing upbeat rock music, the kind that would keep anyone on their feet. The windows have blinds over them, shut tight and the TV monitors on the wall are on silent but play music videos non-stop.   
  
“Your brilliant idea is to tire me out by making me exercise?” Chani can’t help but snort as he stands in front of the waiting treadmill. “I already tried exercise.”   
  
Rowoon’s smile comes back and there’s a spark in his eye, the same one he’d used last night.   
  
“You’ve never trained with me.”   
  
Half an hour later and Chani wishes he’d picked someone else. Rowoon is kind of a demon in the gym. He gets Chani to run, fucking run, on the treadmill and when the lunatic waits ten minutes, he then drags Chani out to the dumbbells to tire out his arms.   
  
“Lunge and squat!” Rowoon barks at Chani. “Squat!”   
  
He’s psychotic, he’s too enthusiastic and at one point Chani seriously considers smacking him over with the weight in his hand. Rowoon thoroughly works him for an hour and a half until every single inch of Chani’s muscles are aching and sore.   
  
“Good workout!” Rowoon cheers as Chani pants and drops the weights he was holding. “Time to hit the sauna!”   
  
Chani is so tired and so sore he can’t even voice one word in protest as Rowoon practically drags him towards the sauna room and sits him down on the wooden bench. The hiss of the steam filling the room has Chani leaning back into the hard bench, groaning at the feel of the wood against his back as the steam fills his lungs and clears the passageways with ease.   
  
Before long, Rowoon plops down next to him and Chani opens one eye to look at him.   
  
“You’re horrible.”   
  
Rowoon laughs. “But I’m effective. Look at you, you’re so tired you can barely lift a finger.”   
  
“I’m going to be sore tomorrow because of you,” Chani accuses, he wants to sound angrier but it comes out as more of a whine. His body kind of melts into the seat and it takes him a minute or two to realise that Rowoon is sitting next to him wearing a towel over his hips.   
  
Chani rolls his eyes. “Tell me you’re wearing something under that towel.”   
  
“Well that’s not how people normally do sauna,” Rowoon points out with an evil grin and Chani is very thankful his face is already red from all of the exertion and the steam from the sauna. He doesn’t need Rowoon figuring out he’s blushing for a totally different reason.   
  
They sit for awhile and when Rowoon decides they’re ready, he practically carries Chani to the shower rooms (its Chani’s own pride that stops Rowoon from offering to strip him and shower him. Chani gets in the shower himself and happily closes the curtain on Rowoon’s face despite all his muscles begging for a break).   
  
Then when they’re clean again, Chani follows Rowoon back to the bedroom and by the time they get back, it’s barely midnight.   
  
“See,” Rowoon beams as he helps Chani onto the bed. “We’ve made good time. Last time you fell asleep at 2am. This time I doubt you’ll make it to half past.”   
  
“You are evil,” Chani sighs, his entire body sinking gratefully into silk sheets and heavy blankets. “I can’t believe people pay you to torture them.”   
  
Rowoon’s laugh only makes Chani’s insides twist in a good way as the taller man jumps over him and flops onto the space beside him. The mattress only moves a little as Rowoon slides into bed and turns onto his side to look at Chani.   
  
Chani takes a deep breath and looks up. The city looks nice outside the window, lights coming from the nearby buildings and the streets below but he can still see it’s dark out there. He notes that Rowoon left the light on in the room and feels a sense of ease with the other next to him. He’s so tired and so sore that he can’t even move.   
  
“So do you still need the light?” Rowoon asks and Chani notes he feels Rowoon’s fingers touching his hair. He turns his head to see the other has his hand lifted, fingers just gently brushing at Chani’s hair. There’s a weirdly comforting look on Rowoons’ face and for whatever reason, it makes Chani feel safe.   
  
“Yes,” he murmurs, voice a little croaky and way more vulnerable than he wants it to sound. “It’s safe.”   
  
Something shifts in Rowoon’s eyes and he moves a little closer. Chani can feel the heat coming from his body as he shuffles up next to him.   
  
“Nothing’s going to get you, Chani,” Rowoon promises. “Not while I’m here.”   
  
Chani’s eyes close on their own, he feels Rowoon’s arm locking around his middle and despite the fact that he’s naturally not a touchy person, he makes no move to shrug him off. His consciousness sinks into Rowoon’s arms and he falls asleep to the sound of Rowoon’s breathing.   
  
\-   
  
Chani gets back home sometime around 8am. After he wakes up, he bids his farewells to Rowoon and limps his way out of there. The hot shower upon his aching muscles did very little to heal the pain and when Chani comes in through the door of his apartment, he immediately heads for the bathroom in search of the muscle cream Taeyang keeps on his shelf. He’s already groaning as he grabs the purple jar and limps his way back to the living room.   
  
“Fucking Rowoon,” he mutters darkly to himself as he pulls up his left sleeve and starts applying the cream to his arm.   
  
That had been a horrible idea and yet last night Chani had slept the whole night without incident. He hadn’t woken up once, he’d been out like a light and once again here he was, awake in the morning and not feeling exhausted. Just sore.   
  
He’s about to apply the cream to his other arm when he looks down and notices it’s almost completely empty. Chani just barely keeps himself from whining, he’s still got two legs and shoulders that desperately need that cream and there’s no way he’s going to make it in his part-time job if he has to go with this pain.   
  
“Taeyang!” he calls as he pushes himself up from the couch. He limps his way to Taeyang’s bedroom door and pushes it open without knocking. “Taeyang do you have any…”   
  
He looks up and the first thing he sees is Taeyang in bed. But he’s not alone. Curled up next to him is a mop of soft brown hair, Chani recognises Hwiyoung’s features, he’s asleep and using Taeyang’s bare shoulder as a pillow. Taeyang looks up and when he sees Chani there, gaping like a fish, his eyes go wide.   
  
“Have you ever heard of knocking?” he whispers so as not to wake up Hwiyoung.   
  
Chani stares. They had been practically strangers yesterday. It would have been a stroke of luck if Hwiyoung had shown up last night to the cafeteria, it was entirely something else that he was now here, naked, in Taeyang’s bed.   
  
“I..uh…” Chani stammers and shows Taeyang the empty jar in his hand. “Got any more of this stuff?”   
  
Taeyang rolls his eyes and points to the dresser next to his bed. Chani carefully tiptoes into the room, he tries not to look at the bed too much as he turns his eyes to the drawer and notices the body sprays, perfumes, creams for every single ailment and occasion, not to mention the wide array of makeup Taeyang keeps there. It’s a mess of course, Taeyang is never clean.   
  
“Which one?” Chani whispers. He looks over all the creams and although he notes most of them are actually little used bottles of lube, none of them is the muscle cream he’s after.   
  
“Second drawer,” Taeyang yawns and shifts a little in bed.   
  
Chani opens the drawer and decidedly ignores the dildo he finds tucked onto the left side, he picks out the jar he’s after and holds it up to show Taeyang. “Promise me you clean your toys and that it didn’t touch this.”   
  
It takes Taeyang a moment to figure out what Chani is referring to but when he looks at the drawer, he sees the glossy plastic handle of the dildo sticking out and he hums. “Oh. That’s where I put it.”   
  
Chani huffs and closes the drawer behind himself. “You’re unbelievable,” he chuckles and gestures to Hwiyoung, who is still tightly curled into Taeyang’s side. “I thought you guys didn’t even know each other.”   
  
Taeyang shrugs, he has one arm around Hwiyoung and Chani can see from where the blankets have fallen that both of Hwiyoung’s skinny arms are wrapped tightly around Taeyang. “We didn’t. We got to talking last night at the cafeteria.”   
  
Chani raises an eyebrow. “Do you normally end up in bed with guys you just met?”   
  
Taeyang shoots him a shameless grin. “Only the really hot ones.”   
  
Shaking his head, Chani leaves the room and quietly closes the door behind himself. He doesn’t want to be there when Hwiyoung wakes up and for all his teasing, he’s actually glad it worked out for Taeyang. He just hopes it lasts so he doesn’t have to hear Taeyang whining about how single he is.   
  
With his muscles massaged into somewhat working order, Chani heads off to work, leaving the apartment free for Taeyang and Hwiyoung to do their awkward morning after. As Chani heads into the coffee shop he works at, he’s ten minutes early which gives him enough time to put his uniform on and apologize to his boss for missing work the other day.   
  
“It’s fine,” the man says as he leans back at his desk. The managers office is a tiny little closet in the backroom of the coffee shop, right next to the even smaller breakroom. Chani can smell the menthol from his cigarette and wonders why the man never opens the window when he smokes in here. The scent itself is so disgusting, it’s like soggy cigarettes and he guesses his manager killed his sense of smell a very long time ago.   
  
Chani can’t wait to get out of there. He greets Zuho at the bar counter and starts setting up the tables for the morning customers.   
  
“Where on earth were you last time?” Inseong asks as he helps wipe down the tables and set up the napkin holders. “Boss chewed us out about it, Zuho cried.”   
  
“I did not!” Zuho calls from his station.   
  
“There was snot,” Youngbin adds where he’s straightening the blinds and adjusting the stickers for the menu’s.   
  
“There was not!” Zuho exclaims. “God you guys are awful.”   
  
Chani grins and tosses the wet cloth from one hand to the other as he moves quickly around the tables, making sure they’re all ready and clean. He heads back to Zuho’s station to help him clean up the last of the dishes just as Dawon hurries through the door.   
  
“You’re late!” Inseong shouts, watching as Dawon rushes for the backroom to get changed.   
  
Chani grins and he kind of missed this. With the one downside being the scent of his forever grumpy boss, the coffee shop is a fairly chilled out area and his coworkers aren’t so bad either. The last place Chani had worked in was a supermarket and he’d take this place over that anyday.   
  
“Boss is as ripe as ever,” Dawon comments as he comes outside, fixing his apron on at the back. He nods to Chani. “Long time no see, you’re looking better.”   
  
Chani nods and watches as Dawon finally unlocks the entrance door and guides in the early bird customers.   
  
The day goes fairly smoothly. Chani wipes up empty tables quickly for new customers, he helps out with the dishes and handles coffee orders when Zuho is busy. He’s on his feet the entire day and he’s so busy he doesn’t even notice when a particularly tall customer wanders into the shop, sits at the bar right in front of him and leans in.   
  
“One milk tea latte.”   
  
Chani looks up, he recognises the voice and when he comes face to face with Rowoon’s big soft eyes, he almost drops the glass he was cleaning.   
  
“Uhh…” Chani stammers and curses the grin on Rowoon’s face for twisting his insides and catching him totally off guard. He’s not normally a nervous, awkward mess like this but Rowoon brings out the worst in him it seems. “Sure. One minute.”   
  
He goes to the machines and ignores the sideways look Zuho shoots him. The other is going to ask him about it later for sure.   
  
“I didn’t know you worked here,” Rowoon purrs as he leans both arms on the counter and watches Chani work. “I live nearby, considered walking in here many times but never had a chance up until now. Must be fate.”   
  
Chani grunts something in agreement and hears Rowoon laugh. He doesn’t know why he’s getting so jittery, it’s not like Rowoon is about to tell everyone Chani has trouble sleeping and after being in the same bed with him two nights in a row, surely Chani can handle making the guy a latte. Yet still, he finds his hands shaking just a little and his heart rate spiking at the sound of Rowoon’s laughter.   
  
Now Zuho definitely notices and that just makes it worse.   
  
Chani looks up. “To go or…?”   
  
“Oh no, I’ll have it here,” Rowoon beams and shifts comfortably on the counter seat. “I’m free today anyway.”   
  
Chani finds himself inwardly cursing the beautiful bastard as he finishes up the latte and serves it to him. He’s just about to pull his hand away when Rowoon reaches out for the cup and closes his long fingers around Chani’s hand as well to make him pause and look at him.   
  
“You’re very different in the daylight,” Rowoon says, his eyes sparkling with not-so-hidden mirth as he sees the effect he has on Chani. It’s different in the clinic, Chani uses the blankets and the night to hide his inward panic at being touched but in the daytime, Rowoon can see it very clearly. There’s a silent war going on in Chani’s head whenever Rowoon touches him.   
  
Rowoon finally slides his hand away and takes the cup, allowing Chani to escape and tend to Dawon’s tables. Dawon shoots him a weird look but says nothing as Chani cleans the table Dawon just cleaned.   
  
An hour passes and Rowoon doesn’t leave. Instead he leisurely looks over his phone, drinks his latte and when he runs out, he asks Zuho for another one. Inseong eventually pulls Chani aside.   
  
“He’s been looking at you for a whole hour,” the man says quietly as the two of them glance at Rowoon. “Why don’t you go talk to him?”   
  
“Because I’m at work?” Chani says and it’s a weak excuse but it’s the only one he has to cling to. He’s so nervous inside, he doesn’t know what he would say to Rowoon that wouldn’t make it awkward and weird. The feeling is new for him because nerves aren’t him. “Besides, I need a bathroom break.”   
  
“You can’t just run away from your problems by taking a shit,” Inseong proclaims indignantly.   
  
“Yes I can!” Chani laughs as he escapes the other and heads for the staff bathroom in the back.   
  
When he comes out, Rowoon’s gone and Zuho hands him a folded note. ‘ _See you later, sleepyhead :) - R._ ’ Zuho has a grin on his face, his sparkling eyes are loud with the question he’s about to ask and Chani cuts him off before he can.   
  
“Don’t even ask.”   
  
He gets back to work, trying to ignore the way Zuho, Inseong, Youngbin and Dawon are watching him curiously. Their attention is annoying but Chani finds himself thinking about the note that burns in his pocket and the knowledge that even though he’s going to consider another sleeper tonight, his fingers are going to pick Rowoon again.   
  
Because sleep has never been so easy and right now, he can’t bring himself to choose another even if he wanted to.   
  
\-   
  
As the weeks pass, Chani keeps going back to the clinic every night. Rowoon rotates their routine, opting for a movie night and then the next night, working Chani in the gym until his muscles give way. Despite the pain, it’s actually very effective. Whether he’s pigging out on junk food and listening to Rowoon’s endless chatter whilst they watch a movie, or working out and cursing Rowoon’s existence, it puts Chani to sleep every single night.   
  
To his surprise and silent delight, Hwiyoung doesn’t end up being a one night stand. Although Chani eventually finds their public displays of affection somewhat sickening, he has to admit that seeing Taeyang this happy and flustered is a nice change. Taeyang, who never has an ounce of shame or embarrassment, gets all flustered and blushes more whenever Hwiyoung does something.   
  
Chani finds them often snuggling on the tiny couch. Hwiyoung is a cuddler, something Chani finds out when he comes home one morning and leans over the kitchen bench to make himself a coffee. He hears the door to Taeyang’s bedroom close but doesn’t think much on it until he feels two arms around his middle and a warmth pressing into his back.   
  
“Tae,” Hwiyoung’s sleepy voice brushes over his ear. “Come back to bed.”   
  
Chani turns his head. Hwiyoung is dressed in a pink rabbit onesie complete with the paws that cover his hands as they perch on Chani’s stomach. Under the hood of floppy ears, Hwiyoung’s eyes are closed, he doesn’t even realise he’s not snuggling into Taeyang.   
  
“Uh…” Chani clears his throat and tries to gently throw the other off by wiggling his shoulders. “Hwi? Hyung, wrong person.”   
  
Hwiyoung makes a sleepy noise but doesn’t let him go until Taeyang’s voice calls from the bathroom.   
  
“Hwi, babe, over here.”   
  
Hwiyoung looks up, he blinks slowly at Taeyang standing at the bathroom. He turns his eyes back to the one he’s cuddling into and recognises Chani’s slightly panicked face before promptly letting him go.   
  
“Oh, sorry.”   
  
Taeyang comes to take Hwiyoung’s gloved paw, dragging him back to their room and leaving Chani wishing he’d skipped the trip home and just headed straight to work instead.   
  
Of course it’s not safe there either. After that particular incident, Rowoon becomes a regular at the coffee shop and if that isn’t bad enough, he befriends Zuho, Youngbin, Inseong and Dawon when Chani tries avoiding him.   
  
Chani is often awkwardly trying to keep himself busy as he hears the others laughing and chatting away with Rowoon and he doesn’t know why he can’t just join them. Something tells him Rowoon wouldn’t make it awkward at all but it’s Chani who would. Chani who can’t look at Rowoon in the daylight hours without getting affected by him. He can just hear the others teasing him about the way he stammers, drops things and even blushes. It’s so not him to do any of those things and yet just as Taeyang is affected by Hwiyoung, Chani is affected by Rowoon.   
  
He knows what it is. It has a name. He can’t even begin to think about putting that name to whatever it is he’s feeling for the other. It’s weird to even consider.   
  
“It’s called a crush, baby boy,” Dawon tells him one night when they’re packing up the shop after a long day. Chani’s eyes widen and he looks around but Inseong and Youngbin are in the backroom and Zuho left earlier.   
  
“It’s okay,” Dawon assures him calmly as he wipes the tables. “It’s just me.”   
  
Chani growls and picks up the last dirty plate to take back to the sink. “Shut up.”   
  
Dawon shoots him a wolfish grin and continues as if Chani hadn’t said anything. “Anyway,” he says. “Rowoon’s cool, he obviously comes here for you so maybe you should suck it up and talk to him.”   
  
Chani’s ears burn and he looks at the other. “What makes you think he’s coming here for me? Maybe he likes Zuho’s coffee.”   
  
The look Dawon shoots him makes him feel incredibly dumb for two seconds as he remembers Zuho is pretty adept at making most drinks at the bar. Most drinks. Except the one Rowoon keeps ordering. Usually Chani is there to make it for him but when he’s not, Zuho has to and Chani has seen Rowoon try not to wince after tasting it.   
  
Chani scowls and finishes up on the dishes. He grabs his bag from the backroom and as he’s heading for the door, Dawon calls after him.   
  
“Better make a move on him soon! Inseong’s thinking about asking him out next week!”   
  
“Over my dead body,” Chani blurts. He leaves the coffee shop, Dawon’s laughter ringing in his ears.   
  
When he gets to the clinic, as usual he signs himself in, books Rowoon and showers. When he comes into the room, he’s tense, he’d watched movies last night which means tonight is exercise. But when he walks into the room, Rowoon isn’t standing there ready to rush Chani out and into the gym. Instead he’s sitting on the bed and when he sees Chani, he smiles and pats the empty space next to him.   
  
Chani blinks at him and moves to sit down. “What’s up?”   
  
Normally Rowoon is all smiles and high energy, but tonight there’s something reserved about his eyes. Even in the way he sits, knees pressed together, hands perched on his lap, back straight as if his nerves are getting the best of him.   
  
Chani forgets his hangup about Rowoon causing butterflies in his stomach and taps his arm to get his attention. “Hyung, what’s up?”   
  
Rowoon thinks a moment longer before he finally turns to Chani and takes a small breath.   
  
“The thing is, this sleep clinic is really successful because customers eventually learn how to sleep on their own,” he tells Chani and for a moment, Chani feels a strange feeling of abandonment. As if he’s not wanted, Rowoon doesn’t want him here.   
  
“Are you saying I should stop booking you?” Chani asks, his throat unusually tight for some reason.   
  
“No,” Rowoon replies right away. “No, no, that’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is that this usually works after awhile and clients learn to sleep on their own. There’s something stopping you from doing the same and I hear you say it every night.”   
  
Chani freezes where he is and stares at Rowoon. He knows exactly what Rowoon is talking about and as his eyes widen, his face pales and his hands start to shake, Rowoon moves in and wraps an arm around his back as if to brace him.   
  
“Chani, I’m not asking you to talk to me about it. I’m not telling you to do anything you’re not ready for but...you say this name every single night. Like it’s a nightmare and I think it’s what’s stopping you from learning to sleep on your own. I’m just saying if you need help, I’m here.”   
  
His words are so comforting, his embrace is so comforting that Chani finds himself leaning into it automatically. He takes a deep, shaking breath and nods slowly.   
  
“Teddy,” he breathes and when Rowoon nods he continues. “Lee Haneul.”   
  
Rowoon’s hand starts rubbing his arm comfortingly and Chani looks down.   
  
“Have you seen anyone about it?” Rowoon asks and his tone is careful, as if he’s trying not to accidentally say the wrong thing and upset Chani. “Talked to anyone?”   
  
Chani shakes his head. He wonders if Rowoon already knows or if he just has a suspicion on what this is, who Teddy is. Chani hates that he still remembers him by that silly nickname but he never called him by his real name.   
  
“He was my babysitter,” Chani confesses quietly and it feels safe to do so because it’s Rowoon. The words come from his mouth so easily, like a dam breaking through, once he starts, he can’t stop and he doesn’t even want to.   
  
“He used to tell me to call him Teddy. Like...like a teddy bear. He was a friend of my parents and they sometimes left me with him when they went out for the night. Teddy used to…” he stops there and his eyes widen as the words get stuck in his throat. Rowoon inches a little closer, his hand still rubbing gently at Chani’s arm, reminding him he’s there.   
  
“I’d be in bed,” Chani continues bravely. “It would be dark and then he’d come in. He’d open the door, come in and close the door behind him. I used to hear his footsteps coming closer to my bed and I couldn’t move, I was too scared. Then he’d climb on my bed and…”   
  
Rowoon pulls him into a hug and he desperately needs it. Chani finds his hands clutching for the other as if he’s his lifeline and in a way he is. In seconds, Chani was back in that bedroom, listening to the rain outside, the tree just outside his bedroom window would scrape its bare branches against the glass and in the midst of it all was the sound of footsteps walking to his bed, climbing in and it wouldn’t stop even when Chani cried, screamed and pleaded for him to stop.   
  
Chani’s hands grab at Rowoon’s shirt, clutching at it and he hides his face in Rowoon’s chest. He’s shaking so hard that only Rowoon is keeping him upright.   
  
It’s why he doesn’t like the dark. It’s why he can’t trust it. Whenever the lights are off and he’s in his room, he still waits for that sound. Footsteps, breathing and finally cold, cold hands.   
  
Rowoon’s lips are on his forehead. Not a kiss but just pressed there as he hugs him. Chani’s eyes close and he clings regardless of the butterflies he feels in his stomach. They sit there for a long time before Chani finally pulls away first and takes a deep breath. He grabs Rowoon’s hand and although he’s not normally the type to initiate a touch, he needs it tonight.   
  
“Don’t go anywhere,” Chani asks.   
  
Rowoon’s smile is as bright as the sun. “I’m not going anywhere.”   
  
Sleep isn’t that easy that night but somehow he manages it. This time he lets Rowoon wrap him up in his arms, cocooning him as they sleep with the lights on and it’s with the warmth of Rowoon’s arms and the sound of his breathing that Chani is able to find any peace.   
  
When he gets home the next morning, he’s still a little sleepy as he goes to the couch and sits down. He zones out, staring at the wall until he hears Taeyang calling his name and realises the other is now awake, out of his room and sitting next to him in his navy blue sweatpants and striped shirt. His bed hair tells Chani he hasn’t been up long and when Chani glances at the slightly open bedroom door, he can see Hwiyoung still asleep on the bed.   
  
He turns to Taeyang and smiles sleepily. “Morning.”   
  
“I’ve been calling your name for five minutes now, you were really spaced out,” Taeyang points out as he pulls one foot up and wraps his arms around his knees. “Are you okay?”   
  
Chani almost reassures that he is before he remembers Rowoon advising him to talk to people when he’s ready. If anything, Taeyang should know. Taeyang, who has been his oldest friend since before they moved into this apartment and started their university lives.   
  
“I’m…” he looks over his roommate and shakes his head. “I don’t know.”   
  
“Is that sleep clinic working?” Taeyang asks, a look of concern appearing on his striking features. “You’ve been there every night so I just sort of assumed…”   
  
“It’s been working,” Chani assures him. “I...my sleeper is great. I’ve been sleeping every night.”   
  
“That’s great,” Taeyang says but his tone tells Chani he suspects something is wrong.   
  
Chani plows on. “I’m going to start seeing a therapist. My sleeper said the problem might be a little deeper than insomnia. Said I keep saying a name in my sleep.”   
  
Taeyang frowns a little and leans back in the couch. “You and Hwi must be cut from the same cloth,” he says. “He talks in his sleep too.”   
  
“Oh yeah?” Chani chuckles, albeit a little bitterly. “Does he say the word ‘teddy’ too?”   
  
It’s a bad and almost self-deprecating joke but Taeyang doesn’t laugh. Taeyang doesn’t say anything and when Chani looks up, he sees the other staring at him.   
  
“Teddy?”   
  
Both of them look up. Hwiyoung is awake, standing in the doorway of Taeyang’s bedroom in his bunny onesie and holding Taeyang’s pillow to his chest as he stares at Chani. “Who’s saying Teddy?”   
  
Taeyang holds out his arm and Hwiyoung comes to his side, he sits down on the couch and leans in as Taeyang rubs his arm and kisses his temple but Hwiyoung’s eyes are on Chani. “Are you saying Teddy?”   
  
“I…” Chani shakes his head, this can’t possibly be connected and yet he already knows by the look on Hwiyoung’s face that it is. That the Teddy he says is the same Teddy that Hwiyoung says.   
  
“He was my babysitter,” Chani tells them both. “He…”   
  
Something clicks in Hwiyoung’s eyes and it’s then that Chani knows they’re talking about the same person.   
  
“My parents knew him, he babysat me too,” Hwiyoung says as he clutches the pillow in his arms tighter to his chest. “Lee Haneul.”   
  
Chani pales and it’s obvious by the look of confusion on Taeyang’s face that even he doesn’t know about this despite sleeping with Hwiyoung and undoubtedly hearing the name every night. Chani is speechless, the irony that the man who haunted his sleep for years had been doing the same thing to Hwiyoung.   
  
“Small world,” he finally comments and that finally gets a small smile from Hwiyoung.   
  
They tell Taeyang about him. Mostly Hwiyoung as he appears to be a little more open and capable of talking about what happened to both of them whereas Chani can’t even say the words properly. With Chani’s permission, Hwiyoung tells Taeyang about Teddy and what he did to him, it’s the exact same as what he’d done to Chani. Dark room, no light, only the sound of footsteps approaching their bed. Like a monster they were too young to scare off.   
  
When he finishes, Taeyang’s eyes are wide with shock and his grip on Hwiyoung is a lot tighter than before but the younger doesn’t seem to mind.   
  
“Where the fuck is this guy?” Taeyang finally growls. “I’ll rip his balls out and stick them in his mouth.”   
  
A small smile appears on Hwiyoung’s face, a little gummy and cute. He leans into Taeyang and shakes his head.   
  
“He’s dead,” he tells him. “My brother found him last year after he found out what happened to me. He was angry the guy was dead and went to the cemetery to piss on his urn.”   
  
“Can I piss on his urn?” Taeyang asks. “Seriously, I wanna piss on his urn.”   
  
Chani can’t help but chuckle just a bit. He’s not sure what he feels with the news that his monster is already dead. It’s almost like he feels nothing, not sadness, not any amount of attachment, not happiness and not relief. Just nothing. If the guy had been alive, he’s not sure what he would have done but now that he’s dead there’s nothing to do. Nothing but heal himself.   
  
“I won’t piss on his urn,” he promises as he looks at Hwiyoung. “But I wanna see his ashes. Just to...you know…?”   
  
Hwiyoung nods. He knows. The monster isn’t dead until Chani can see it and Chani has a feeling Hwiyoung had to see his urn to make sure of it himself too.   
  
They end up going three days later on the weekend because the drive to the cemetery is well out of Seoul and the only person they know who can drive is actually Rowoon. When Chani explains the situation, Rowoon agrees immediately and picks them up at the apartment. Chani climbs in the front of his BMW and immediately notes the scent that’s always on Rowoon - slightly pine with a musky cologne scent - is actually what the inside of his car smells like.   
  
Taeyang and Hwiyoung climb in the backseat, both of them greeting Rowoon awkwardly and it’s then that Chani realises he never told Taeyang that his sleeper was male.   
  
“You know, it makes sense,” Taeyang comments after Chani confesses this awkwardly. “I tried to imagine you trying to sleep in bed with a girl and I just couldn’t picture it. This makes so much sense.”   
  
Chani is about to snap back defensively, maybe lie and say something like he isn’t gay like Taeyang but when Rowoon’s hand takes his over the console, it shuts him up right away as his ears start burning red and he has to look away because the smug, annoying look on Taeyang’s face is just too much.   
  
Rowoon’s face is just as bad, just as smug and he doesn’t let Chani’s hand go even as he drives with one hand on the wheel.   
  
“Our Chani’s a secretive type,” Rowoon comments and when he kisses Chani’s hand, Chani yanks it back and has to turn away because his cheeks are starting to burn too. He’d be afraid of hurting Rowoon’s feelings if he didn’t hear the other laughing.   
  
The drive takes two hours and although Chani spends most of that time quiet and in deep thought, Taeyang takes that time to ask and learn everything he can about Rowoon. Where he was born, how many siblings he has, what schools he went to and how he got into the sleeper business. Chani listens, quietly learning as Rowoon charms Taeyang and answers all his questions without hesitation.   
  
“Chani you should keep this one,” Taeyang says. “He’s adorable. Hey Rowoon, we’re having a party soon at the coffee shop Chani works in for my birthday. You should come!”   
  
By the time they get to the cemetery, Chani cannot wait to get out of the car before Taeyang can start suggesting marriage.   
  
The cemetery is a vast, open area full of stones with urns packed in rows upon rows of generations that line the area and surround the barren tree in the middle. Rows of names, of urns, flowers and even tiny windmills surround the area. A chilly breeze cuts right through Chani and he shivers as Rowoon gets out of the car and comes around to his side. The way he automatically puts his arm around Chani is so comforting and he’s so warm but Chani only gives himself two seconds to enjoy it before he notices Taeyang getting out of the car as well and pushes Rowoon off before his ears can start to burn.   
  
Hwiyoung looks a little nervous but determined, he points down the rows and takes Taeyang’s hand as he leads the way. Behind them, Chani and Rowoon follow.   
  
Rowoon keeps looking at Chani and he knows he’s worried but it speaks volumes of how well Rowoon understands Chani that he doesn’t simply ask him if he’s okay. He already knows Chani won’t answer him. Chani doesn’t know the answer. His hands clench at his sides and he doesn’t know why he’s so nervous or why his hands clam up. It’s not like the monster is alive and yet in Chani/s and Hwiyoung’s minds, he very much is.   
  
His grave is situated somewhere near the back end of rows. Hwiyoung leads the way but his hand is tight in Taeyang’s. As if Taeyang is anchoring him here. When he stops, he and Taeyang step out of the way, leaving the spot clear for Chani to stand before the stone and look upon the name etched in the stone.   
  
To Chani’s surprise, there are two names.   
  
Lee Haneul and his wife, Lee Minja. Chani didn’t even know the man was married but then he supposed it made sense, appearing like such a normal guy, even with a wife and possibly a kid, of course it only made him seem more trustworthy for their parents to leave him with their kids.   
  
Chani can feel Rowoon’s body heat standing nearby as he reaches forward and traces his fingers over the name. Somewhere underneath the ground is the monster that has haunted his nights and the knowledge is weirdly comforting. That he is gone and Chani can feel it, he’s not here.   
  
Rowoon’s hand touches his shoulder and Chani relaxes immediately.   
  
“You okay?” he asks.   
  
Chani just nods, he feels fine. Even at peace. Maybe it’s not completely over, his nightmares are still filled with memories that happened. But that’s just it, they’re memories, they’re not going to happen again.   
  
Before he can say anymore however, a voice interrupts them all.   
  
“Can I help you?”   
  
They look up to see a man their age standing just beside them holding a small bunch of red roses in his hands. The wind sweeps his layered, dark locks aside, revealing strikingly light eyes upon a confused but harmless face. He’s thin, dressed in a simple black shirt and jeans, mostly covered by a dark blue coat that hangs down to his knees.   
  
Hwiyoung pushes through first and bows to him.   
  
“Hyung,” he says when he lifts his head. “Do you remember me?”   
  
A look of recognition clicks on the young man’s face and Hwiyoung turns to look at Chani. He gestures to the man with a gentle hand. “This is Lee Jaeyoon. He’s his son.”   
  
The young man, Jaeyoon, flicks his sight to Chani and Chani can see something click in his mind. Recognition first, then realisation as his lips form a small ‘oh’ when the ball drops.   
  
Jaeyoon bows a little and in that moment, the ball drops for Chani as well as he realises that as much as that monster had tortured him, nothing could have compared to the horrors that Jaeyoon had seen. Given the way he recognised why Hwiyoung had introduced Chani first, he had guessed accurately why Chani was there and what his father had done to him.   
  
Jaeyoon places the roses carefully on his mothers side of the stone. He places his hand over her name for a moment before he turns to look at Chani and Hwiyoung.   
  
The only thing Chani can do is stare at him and wonder if Teddy had hurt him too. He doesn’t even need to voice the question because Jaeyoon sees it in his eyes and nods slowly.   
  
“I’m sorry for what my father did to you,” he says, breaking the awkwardly fragile silence.   
  
Chani shakes his head. “I didn’t come here looking for an apology. I just wanted closure.”   
  
“I get that,” Jaeyoon nods. “That’s what Hwiyoung needed when he and his brother called around. My father hurt so many people, it’s no surprise I’m meeting a few.”   
  
Chani bites his lip. “Did he…?”   
  
He doesn’t finish, he can’t say the words but Jaeyoon nods anyway.   
  
“Call me Teddy, he said,” Jaeyoon says in a small, shaky voice. “Because you can trust teddy. He’ll be with you at night. Always.”   
  
They shiver, the words are slightly different but the meaning has always been the same. For all of them. Taeyang grips Hwiyoung’s hand tightly and Rowoon stays close by, as if to remind Chani by his presence alone that those days are long, long gone.   
  
“Did you find what you were looking for?” Jaeyoon asks.   
  
Chani pauses, he turns his eyes back to the name etched in stone. A name he is determined to forget. Not forgive but forget, place into the world where it doesn’t matter. Where he can’t hurt him or haunt him ever again. It’ll take time, but he will forget his name and all that breathed with him.   
  
Seeing that name in stone, knowing he’ll never come back, Chani feels a peace fall over his shoulders and he smiles.   
  
“I did.”   
  
\-   
  
“A little higher...little higher...the left is slightly off, lift it higher.”   
  
Chani grunts where he’s clinging to the latter, one hand gripping the top to keep his balance and the other holding up a ridiculously sparkly banner to hang up on the ceiling of the coffee shop. They’ve cleared up after the days customers and as night sets in, the shop becomes theirs for the party. But the birthday boy is due any minute and they haven’t even finished setting up.   
  
Chani glares down at Inseong, who is trying to guide them in hanging the banner up straight. “If I hold this up any higher, I’m gonna fall off this ladder,” he snaps at him. “Is it straight or not?!”   
  
Down on the ground, Inseong squints and hums. “A little higher…”   
  
“I will shove this up your ass,” Chani threatens half-heartedly and tries to reach higher for the ceiling.   
  
Down below, Zuho is setting up the bar, Dawon is in charge of music, Hwiyoung had left awhile ago to get Taeyang from class. Chani can see Youngbin and Rowoon setting up the tables and as he sets the banner up to Inseong’s liking at last, the door opens and he looks over to see Jaeyoon wandering in.   
  
“Welcome!” Rowoon beams, rushing up to the confused looking boy. It really had been a spur of the moment decision to invite him too but after hearing his situation, Taeyang insisted they get to know him more. After all, he was in their boat too.   
  
Loud hip hop music starts blasting through the speakers and Chani gets down from the ladder just as they hear Hwiyoung’s bike outside. As Chani puts the ladder away, he comes back in time to see the doors open and Taeyang come inside with Hwiyoung behind him.   
  
“SURPRISE!” Inseong shouts.   
  
“What surprise?” Youngbin snorts. “He knew we were throwing a party for him.”   
  
Nevertheless the happy look on Taeyang’s face is enough for them all as music fills the air and they dig into the drinks and food they’d all brought in together. Chips of all flavours, pizza, the occasional fruit here and there with plenty of alcohol makes for a good night and as they dance, laugh, sing and chat amongst each other, a relaxed and friendly atmosphere puts Chani at ease.   
  
Sometime during the night, Taeyang ends up almost giving a horrified Hwiyoung a lapdance when he’s had one too many, Inseong gets into a debate with Jaeyoon about something (Chani stopped listening a very long time ago) and as the others chat amongst themselves, he feels Rowoon slide into the chair next to him and it comes only too natural for him to lean into the taller man.   
  
Rowoon’s arm is warm and comforting around his shoulders, he hums and rests his head on Rowoon’s chest. Maybe the others will tease him about it later and add in little ‘I told you so’ and other annoying phrases but for now Chani is far too relaxed and drunk to care much about what he looks like.   
  
His eyes close and he listens to the sound of Rowoon’s steady heartbeat bumping gently against his ear.   
  
Rowoon’s hand slides over his side comfortingly. “Feeling sleepy already?”   
  
Chani just hums and snuggles in a little more. “You’re really warm.”   
  
“Hn.”   
  
“You’re really tall too.”   
  
Rowoon laughs, it vibrates a bit against Chani’s head but Chani doesn’t pull away. Just leans in closer.   
  
“Don’t think this means I’ll let you off easy tomorrow,” Rowoon says. “You know the deal, one night junk food, the next night, gym.”   
  
“You’re a horrible person.”   
  
“So does that mean you’ll stop coming to the clinic?” Rowoon asks. He’s laughing but Chani hears the almost insecure tone right away. As if Rowoon’s scared that Chani will say yes and stop coming.   
  
Chani doesn’t know what comes over him. A small moment of bravery, of not giving a fuck, of forgetting that they’re in a room full of friends as he pulls back from Rowoon’s chest and looks up at him. Rowoon’s eyes are big, almost insecure, worried and Chani doesn’t like that look on him. He’ll do anything to make it go away and he can only think of one thing that will.   
  
“Never,” he assures Rowoon with a small smile. “You’re stuck with me now. I will seriously be the shit on your shoe, you’re not getting rid of me now.”   
  
He sees relief flood those big eyes and feels a knot in his stomach loosen as a result. Rowoon does want him to stay.   
  
“Well fine,” Rowoon says. ‘But I’ll have you know I’m expen-”   
  
He doesn’t get any further. Chani leans in and blocks his mouth, kissing him for an insane moment of peace. There’s butterflies in his stomach and they’re going nuts but this feels right, especially when he feels Rowoon returning the kiss.   
  
They break apart when they hear Dawon’s catcalling, quickly followed by the others as they join in and start teasing. Chani gets up, picks up the nearest bowl of chips and starts chasing Dawon around the coffee shop, throwing chips at the man as he cackles like a maniac and hides behind the others as he runs.   
  
It’s a chaotic and lively scene. Everyone’s laughing, drinking and watching the messy spectacle but even as he runs, Chani has the biggest smile on his face.   
  
As though he is, at last, at peace and all that’s left is to move forward.


End file.
